IF YOU HATE TAXES…

“If you’re a conservative who hates taxes, please do the following.

1. Do not use Medicare.
2. Do not use Social Security
3. Do not become a member of the US military, who are paid with tax dollars.
4. Do not ask the National Guard to help you after a disaster.
5. Do not call 911 when you get hurt.
6. Do not call the police to stop intruders in your home.
7. Do not summon the fire department to save your burning home.
8. Do not drive on any paved road, highway, and interstate or drive on any bridge.
9. Do not use public restrooms…”

You get the idea.

Full list here.

WHO KNEW NASCAR PRAYERS CAME WITH PRODUCT PLACEMENT?

THE KEY SCENES FROM PULP FICTION. (UM, VERY NOT SAFE TO PLAY AT WORK PEOPLE.)

THERE MIGHT BE HOPE.

YOU KNOW, IF CHURCH WERE LIKE THIS, I MIGHT GO EVERY NOW AND THEN.

WHY THE B.S. ABOUT THE B.C. MATTERS.

SERIOUSLY AMERICANS…IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP. EITHER WE START TO PAY TEACHERS WHAT THEY’RE WORTH, OR WE’RE GOING TO PAY THE PRICE LATER.

People, this is pathetic.

“Ever wonder how the hours American teachers work and the salary they earn compares to teachers in other industrialized nations? Well, the picture’s not pretty. In this infographic courtesy of the Future Journalism Project, American educators work the most hours of all industrialized nations, but are the fifth lowest paid after 15 years on the job. Only Luxembourg, Hungary, Iceland, and Norway pay their teachers less.

And how do we compare to the country that’s number one in the world in education according to international tests, Finland? Teachers there work the fifth fewest hours and are the ninth lowest paid. Sure, no one goes into education for the money, but at a certain point doesn’t it seem wrong that teachers pretty much everywhere else on this chart work less but get paid more?”

Found by the good people here.

SAW THIS EFFORT AT THE TED CONFERENCE…PRETTY BASIC QUESTION, WITH AN ANSWER THAT SHOULD BE SIMPLER. WEEKEND VOTING IS AN IDEA THAT IS OBVIOUSLY THE RIGHT APPROACH.

YET ANOTHER OF A LONG LINE OF MCSWEENEY’S LISTS I’M IN LOVE WITH.

“Suggested Caveats for Standard Wedding Vows

- – - -

Assuming we decay at approximately the same rate.

Even if you become a religious freak, except if you adopt a program of abstinence.

Provided you delete Mannheim Steamroller from your iPod.

Unless you blow your 401(k) in Vegas without inviting me or at least requesting to be comped.

Except in cases of abuse, incest or scrapbooking.

Not including weekends apart that involve two or more of the following: a hotel room in Chicago, premium vodka, nostalgia, karaoke, that guy I made out with in the stairwell freshman year, and eggs benedict.

Even if you take Viagra, but not if you take it to the gym.

Void where prohibited.”

Found, as always, here.

HARD TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A SOLID IDEA.

“A new smart refrigerator concept can create recipes based on the food stored inside it. The fridge, a project between University of Central Lancashire and online supermarket Ocado, scans its contents and concocts recipes based on what it finds.”

Read more about it here.